Smiling Layoffs

Lay offs. It’s impossible to pick up the paper these days and not read about at least one major company laying off thousands of people. Now, I’m not a business basher and I understand that the purpose of a company is to make money. I also believe that shareholders come first, even before employees.

What bothers me about all of this is the euphemisms that are constantly used. In the Old Economy days of yesteryear, people were “fired” or “laid off”. But in the 90’s the H.R. people became more involved and couched the firings or lay-offs in more gentle terms: “downsizing,” “right-sizing,” and the most misleading of all “re-engineering.”

So, what’s wrong with putting a better spin on unpleasant business? Nothing, except that it seems dishonest. It’s like calling children with mental retardation “gifted.” They are not gifted. They are unfortunate, tragic results of the wrong DNA. Who among us would want this “gift?”

Getting fired or laid off is miserable stuff. To launder it in deceptive jargon doesn’t make it any easier on those affected. When your cheese moves, it still hurts regardless of what name you put on it. I would rather be told, “Look Tom, we’re laying you off because market conditions have changed and we can’t afford you anymore.” It’s more direct and it’s more honest. And I don’t want it said in an upbeat, smiley way either. The employer should be morose with a hint of scotch on her breath to brace her for what should be the most difficult thing that she does. The mood should be as somber as a Requiem High Mass and not happy like a retirement party. The person is not voluntarily leaving, he is being told he is no longer wanted regardless of the reason. The H.R. types tell employers to emphasize it’s not personal, it’s only business. But as Michael Correlone taught us years ago, it’s always personal. So, next time you have to fire someone, pretend that you’re at a funeral, because the person you’re firing just felt like he died.